Question:
I had a relationship with a girl for 5 years, but, unfortunately, was unsuccessful, two years ago. Since I am unable to restart, I knew several girls, but each time the memory of my first love resurfaced. However, when I am alone, I feel no desire to revisit my first love or to resume our relationship. What is my problem and how can I fix this? Nicolas, age 31
The answer to Catherine Marchi
A sentimental break requires a grieving process that takes time. In general, past the shock and sadness of being separated, it is slowly returning to enjoy life and love. Your lock, your inability to overcome the loss of first love, which occurred two years ago already, suggests that this injury resonates with a painful past.
Any separation, whether in the sphere of emotional or professional, reactive separations old who made us suffer, mourning that have not been resolved, the gaps that we have not exceeded. You seem to live in love this failure as a narcissistic injury. Losing the love of this girl resulted in a loss of self-esteem, a feeling of being unworthy of being loved, unfit for happiness.
It would be interesting for you to dig into your childhood memories, the pain to go search, separations, ruptures, mourning that are reactivated by the current situation. What we experience in this can always be understood in the light of what we experienced in the past. Each new situation is played on a current scene is replayed and, unconsciously, on a stage long since forgotten, but still current.
Play the detectives, made a survey in your personal history, go back to basics and you will succeed in overcoming this difficult separation.
Catherine Marchi, clinical psychologist, is a graduate of the University René Descartes Paris V.
…. Syria: the rebel city of Homs again bombed, UN speaks of crimes against humanity
The Syrian regime has again Monday bombed the rebel city of Homs, ignoring the call of the Arab League at a joint peacekeeping force with the UN, an idea that divides Europeans and to which Russia, an ally of Damascus, poses conditions.
The United Nations said in turn that Syrian forces had”probably” committed crimes against humanity by suppressing eleven months since the popular anti-regime protest, at a price of more than 6,000 deaths, according to activists.
Already deeply divided on the Syrian crisis, the international community seems to be more on the proposal for a peacekeeping force put forward by the Arab League: Paris warned against any action”military character”, Moscow demanded a cease -fire Washington and stressed that without peace, such a move was complicated.
Deaf to calls to stop the repression, the Syrian regime continued the shelling Monday of Homs (center), now affected by a humanitarian crisis, activists denouncing a bread shortage.
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, who said it was”unfortunate that the regime has intensified violence (…) using artillery and tank fire,” he assured that the United States worked to”meet humanitarian problems”and help” those who are injured and die.”
The Syrian Red Crescent said distributing food and medical aid to thousands of people in the”capital of revolution,” where, according to a statement from the UN, over 300 people have died since February 4 in a”indiscriminate attacks against civilian areas.”
The UN High Commissioner for Human Rights Navi Pillay said that”the nature and extent of abuses by Syrian forces indicate that crimes against humanity were likely committed” since March 2011.
In a telephone interview Monday, U.S. President Barack Obama and British Prime Minister David Cameron reiterated their condemnation of the violent crackdown by the Syrian regime against its own people.”They have agreed on the need to coordinate closely to increase the pressure on the regime of Bashar al-Assad and to support a transition to democracy”, the statement from the White House.
On the ground, the violence continued with clashes between soldiers and deserters who killed 11 people in the ranks of the regular army. But fire from security forces, which have killed 18 civilians Monday across the country, including two teenagers, did not discourage the demonstrators.”The revolution continues as long as a baby living with us,” could be read on a placard during a protest in the province of Deraa (south), birthplace of the dispute, according to a video broadcast by activists.
Faced with this crisis, the Arab League, who had already tried to pass a UN resolution condemning the crackdown – blocked by Beijing and Moscow – has decided to ask the Security Council the formation of a joint force and provide political and material support to the opposition.
Burhan Ghalioun, head of the Syrian National Council (CNS), the main opposition coalition, told Al Jazeera to see in these decisions”first steps” toward the regime fell.
Damascus, however, said they would not prevent the government”to shoulder its responsibilities” in”the restoration of security and stability”, according to the official SANA news agency.
The idea of a peacekeeping mission does not, however, unanimously supported by the European Union, London wants to”discuss urgently”, but France has launched a warning.”Any external military intervention in nature would only aggravate the situation, especially since there will be no decision of the Security Council,” said the French foreign minister Alain Juppe.
Moscow said it was investigating the proposal, while holding that a cease-fire was necessary first. Such a mission, noted the White House would begin if there was”a peace to keep. Unfortunately, we know that there are none.” Beijing has refrained from deciding.
The Secretary General of Arab League Nabil al-Arabi will meet Tuesday in Germany Chancellor Angela Merkel. According to analysts, the Arab proposal is promised to failure.”I fear it is very difficult to find member states ready to send troops,” he told AFP Salman Shaikh, director of the Brookings Doha.
Father Paolo Dall’Oglio, founder of a monastic community in Syria Syriac-Catholic, said the Vatican could play”a pivotal role.”“The conflict is already confessionnalisé” lamented the Italian Jesuit, explaining that Christians were”the middle”.
Arabs and Westerners have this week launched a new attempt to condemn Damascus, this time at the UN General Assembly – a consultative body where the veto does not exist. Moscow and Beijing would again oppose this project, prepared by Saudi Arabia and Qatar, very similar to the text blocked by their double veto on February 4.
Another step to the calendar: the”Conference of Friends of Syria”, that Tunis has proposed to organize 24 February and on Monday received strong support from Clinton and his Turkish counterpart Ahmet Davutoglu visit to Washington.